All Alone.....in Dark.....

Blogging..........i am very much new to this system of sharing the notes of our experiance to people whome you dont know in the internet, who read what in your blog, and conclude what, is not a matter of fact for me. Something or nothing what i want to share with me and ask me when i am sitting idle and thinking off is what i want to capture it in a systematic way is what i feel blogging is...........
It was 20th March 2009, evening 7.30 PM when i was in my room as off everyday alone listening to music to make me feel relaxed from all the tension of office and my inbalance created by my mind for my future and my personal life. Suddenly the sky got blue with thunder shoughting and lightening, strong wind started to blow with the .....loo. Fortunately i had a candle with me to remove the dakness as there was current failure. It was me and the candle in front of me in the room with complete silence and i concentrated deap into the burning flame ...... the all peace is there in what i feel.....at that moment. Approximate of 7 inches of candle burned into 2 inches when the lights were on.....the burned 5 inches of candle was the time when my mind was full of thoughs and productive knowlege which i gathered inspite of a teacher............who says "you need a teacher to learn" is not the truth. Everyone has a best teacher within himself, but we need to find him and listen to him with lots off focus. Everone knows what is right and what is wrong, but we are forced to not accept it due to any of the problems and hurdels created by the instances of life.
At times in Bhubaneswar i was every much busy with my friends moving here and there, dont even thought that i will be apart from them ...... but now i feel myself much more responsible to my family, my career, my dreams to make it real. This lonelyness has put a full stop to the person who had no focus...... before i felt my life was my friends, the time i share is precious, how will they feel when i will not be there with them? .. But i speak truly it hardly matters.... I dont know i am turned selfish or what ..... poaching myself to place me in there life forcefully........ Then i understood we all have a diffrent life, commitments to our family respectivly, diffrent goals, diffrent burdens, and apart we are all diffrent human beings. So never to mix the emotional touch of friendship with the personal life. Even i felt it maximun in my Birthday on 9th March 2009 a celebrating occausion without no one inspite of the host.

Ending with the half said feelings off the day..... and promissing to return back tomorrow......with my blogs ..... which will furned to be my passion and excitement some day.

With signing notes.........

Sandeep Das